The UK Journal

My neighbour Sharon was round for coffee last week, moaning about her teenager wanting to be an influencer. “Whatever happened to proper careers?” she said. Got me thinking about Lucy Bolam, actually. Most people have never heard of her. Which is mad, considering her dad is James Bolam, you know, Terry from The Likely Lads. […]

Kodi Capri Gaulden is only a toddler, yet her name has spread widely across social media and hip-hop fan clubs. Born under the spotlight on November 26, 2020, Kodi is the child of best-charting rapper NBA YoungBoy (Kentrell DeSean Gaulden) and social media personality Drea Symone. Kodi has already caught the public eye at a […]

While my neighbour Steve still hauls that humongous Henry up and down stairs every Saturday morning. Watching him wrestle with that thing does my head in. Finally, last week I asked him, “Why don’t you just get a cordless vacuum?” His answer? “They’re all rubbish, aren’t they?” Wrong, Steve. Dead wrong. I’ve been testing vacuum […]

Right, let me tell you about Luisa Zissman. You know, the one who almost won The Apprentice and then more or less colonised half the British media. I have been watching her since she tottered into Lord Sugar’s boardroom in 2013, and, blimey, what a journey it has been. I remember watching that show and […]

Of course, he did! Dave Fishwick really took on payday loans, and fair play to him for doing so. I have been covering this saga from the beginning, and let me tell you, it has been a ride. One of those payday loan companies got my mate Emily tied up a few years ago. Began […]

I’ve had a season ticket in our family’s name since 1983. This ticket was passed from my granddad to my father to me. Sunday, August 31st, 4:30 pm kickoff. Liverpool vs. Arsenal at Anfield. Already got butterflies thinking about it. I called my mate Henry yesterday; he supports Arsenal, so I feel for him, and […]

Alright, it’s time to get to the bottom of this. Everybody wants to know Dave Fishwick’s net worth after watching him on telly and Netflix. The bloke’s gone proper famous, hasn’t he? My uncle owns a small business in Manchester, and he goes on about Dave all the time. “That’s how you do business,” he […]

So my sister called me up yesterday, properly worked up about something she’d read online. Did you see that woman who was married to Nick Knowles? That one who got into that big spat on Twitter? I hadn’t. But she told me anyway, because that’s what sisters do. Jessica Rose Moor has actually been trolled […]

I was glued to the telly during Beijing 2008, watching this absolute machine of a man break several world records on his bike. Chris Hoy is mad; three golds in one Olympic Games! My dad was repeatedly yelling at the screen: “Look at the legs on that lad!” And he was right. Those thighs were […]

My nan was round for breakfast about three years back when Naga Munchetty absolutely demolished some MP on BBC Breakfast. Can’t remember what it was about, probably housing or something, but this bloke kept trying to wriggle out of answering. Naga wasn’t having it. She kept pushing and pushing until he basically admitted his policy […]